Tuesday evening on the 7:30pm Churchgate-Andheri, I am terribly nostalgic. It has been five-odd years since I took the peak-hour evening train with a cup of 10-rupee coffee and a bhel. It was one of those odd routines that had become an intrinsic part of my college and early-working years; a cup of ten-rupee coffee from the store on Platform number 1, a bhel from the sellers on the station, hanging by the door, taking in the peculiar Bombay air. To be able to live that routine again, briefly, in the same order of things as always used to be, made me terribly nostalgic, gratefully happy. All these years later, I began to feel like my life had come full circle…
I could now afford my childhood fascination of all Nike sports gear, and wear colour in my hair, and crisp blue shirts and carry my laptop in a leather bag, all of my own accord. I could buy books without thinking. And, I could still reminisce the days leading up to now; hanging by the train door, affording my very first pair of Levis and feeling ecstatic, scrounging even for a 10-rupee coffee.
Over the week, I came face-to-face with many friends from over the years. Some of them, I hadn’t met in over three years. The odd thing about life is how it all comes to place all at once, and as I laughed and hugged and chatted with old colleagues, I realized how fortunate I had been. For every two people who had tried to pull me down, there had been five I’d been able to lean on.
Meeting people from the past made me nostalgic for odd reminisces: brainstorming sessions in cabins once familiar, security staff at offices I no longer went to, fights and breaking points from the years, and how we had in parts and pieces hung on to each other.
Later in the week, as uncomfortable snatches of my past came back to me in people and places one would rather not revisit, I realized how comfortable I was. After all these years, I was finally at peace with the way all the pieces had fallen into place. I finally knew the whys, the hows. I was finally able to look it all in the eye, and laugh about it too.
Life had been kind, and unkind….but it had all come full circle.
I can finally start a new circle.